Book Recommendations
A growing list of books for better understanding childhood developmental and relational trauma, relationships, and more.
Childhood / Complex Trauma
Gifts from a Challenging Childhood by Jan Bergstrom. A practical, quick-read about developmental and relational trauma. Built off Pia Mellody’s work, this book offers tools you can start implementing into your day to day life to starting healing core issues and build your “functional adult self”
Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring For Yourself by Melody Beattie. A great resource to understand the history behind the term “codependent”, as well as no-nonsense tools to start engaging in your relationships differently, and start letting go of codependent patterns.
Couples
Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love by Sue Johnson. Dr. Johnson’s most popular book; Hold Me Tight reviews the science behind attachment, guides the reader(s) through 7 Hold Me Tight conversations, and offers hope for emotionally bonded relationships all throughout the book.
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman. This book is based on Dr. Gottman’s 40+ years of research from his “Love Lab”, revealing the 7 key features he found that “Relationship Masters” possess in their marriages. Includes tools and exercises.
What Makes Love Last? How to Build Trust and Avoid Betrayal by John Gottman. An informative, non-shaming resource to understand infidelity, and how to avoid it / repair from betrayals.
The New Monogamy: Redefining Your Relationship After Infidelity by Tammy Nelson. Another great informative and non-shaming resource to help couples rebuild trust after infidelity, and start creating a new relationship with complete honesty.
Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoski. A fantastic read to help understand the newest research on sexuality and how to engage in conversations about intimacy and sexual wellness in safer, more productive ways. An approachable read - great use of humor all throughout the book!
Other
The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter and How to Make the Most of Them Now by Meg Jay. A practical yet powerful resource for understanding what exactly makes your 20’s so important. Whether you’re just 19 about to turn 20, or already 29, don’t delay reading this book!
Boundaries: When to Say Yes How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life by Henry Cloud & John Townsend. A wonderful book on how to set functional and protective boundaries in multiple areas of your life. This book reframes and challenges the idea that boundaries are “selfish” or not Biblical, offering scriptural and spiritually healthy truths about the nature of boundaries, and how they actually align well with Jesus’ character. Even for non-Christians, this is a great resource for boundaries.
Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. A classic read regarding Frankl’s idea that in any circumstances, including being in a concentration camp, humans will always have the freedom to choose how they respond to their circumstances.