Faith & Waiting
Seasons of waiting are so hard. Especially in today’s digital age where we are used to things happening instantly. We get our questions answered in seconds by ChatGPT, Amazon offers same-day delivery, breaking news spreads in minutes all over social media. The human attention span has deteriorated so much so that even 5 minutes can feel difficult to sit and wait for something. We all know that real life doesn’t work as fast as the internet does, yet despite logically knowing this, it’s still so taxing to be in a season of waiting. These periods are confusing, challenging, and they test your patience. And who really wants their patience to be tested more than it already is everyday?
I’ve recently been in many seasons of waiting. Waiting for the right job after graduation (that took 6 months, but felt like years!), yet still waiting for my career to really move in the direction I want it to. Waiting for my husband’s CT scan results… Waiting for the market to stabilize so we can move… Waiting for the right time to have difficult conversations with my family about unhealthy patterns that need to be broken… No matter what it is that I’m waiting for, the struggle is the same. During my journal time yesterday morning I had a lot of thoughts come up as I reflected on waiting.
God revealed some really important things to me as I reflected on seasons of waiting. I wanted to understand better why it’s difficult to wait and what to do in the meantime. The first thing I felt God tell me was what to pray for while waiting. During waiting periods, it’s not clarity or patience I need to ask for. It’s not asking God to hurry up and bless the plans I’ve been coming up with on my own. But it’s for my faith. I felt Him tell me that while I’m waiting, pray for my faith to remain strong and my trust in Him to stay solid. It’s so easy for me to doubt and question God’s voice, plan, His ways, etc. when I feel like I’m waiting to hear and see Him again. Therefore, I need to pray for my faith. So I don’t start to question or challenge Him, but instead have faith that God is working all things out for me in perfect timing. And I can breathe a little easier again remembering who actually is in control of all things. And thank goodness it’s not me!
So many parts are moving and pieces are coming together that God is orchestrating behind the scenes that I don’t even know about. Which is why I need my faith to remain strong. Faith goes beyond what I can see and hear. But when I can’t see or hear what I want, waiting is so, so hard. I know that, and even Jesus knows that... There are so many examples of waiting in the Bible. Abraham had to wait for children. David had to wait to be king. The Israelites waited 40 years in the wilderness before God brought them to the promised land. Hannah had to wait for children, with Peninnah taunting her the whole time. It even took Jesus 30 years to be ready for his ministry. Yet, God promised and showed to all who patiently waited for Him that He cared for them, and us, the whole time. Seasons of waiting are part of the walk in Christian life. Even if you’re not a Christian, there will come a time in life where you are waiting for something.
While having a relationship with God (or any strong spiritual beliefs!) is a big protective factor to mental health, there are still a few other things that come to mind for me to help ourselves in seasons of waiting. The first is recognizing where in your life you’re clinging onto control, and letting it go. I’ve learned over the years that the more I try to control my environment, outcomes, my routines, the less in control I actually am. (If you’re interested in Internal Family Systems therapy, this “control” experience would be your manager part working overtime!) I fall for the trap that if I can just structure my days to obtain perfect productivity, then my career will really start to explode. I aim to create perfect morning and evening routines, make every email just perfect before I send it (so I end up only sending half of the emails I could in a day because I’m working so slowly trying to be perfect!). The never ending chase of perfection makes waiting for my desired outcome even more insufferable. The wait can be so much more enjoyable when I ground myself back to the here and now, and remember that life is meant to be lived in the present moment - and it is far from perfect.
The other thing that makes waiting feel so challenging are the lies of comparison. And social media makes this lie so easy to believe. When we’re already vulnerable to believing something is wrong with us or our life’s timeline, consuming everyone else’s highlight reels just amplifies this vulnerability. Seeing other’s posts about their career advancements, growing families, buying new cars or homes, traveling the world - and we’re sitting at home just waiting? It’s too much sometimes. I’ve personally made the decision to remove myself from social media. This was a boundary I needed to set to protect myself, but I know that not everybody wants to remove themselves from Instagram, X, etc. However, if you find that everytime you’re on it and feel depleted afterwards, I do encourage you to set some boundaries regarding social media use. If this is something you’d like to explore more in therapy, I’d love to support you in that.
There are so many more things to say about unhelpful thought patterns, choices, or behaviors we engage in during seasons of waiting, but that would turn into way too long for just one blog!
So, you might’ve noticed that one of the areas in counseling I specialize in are “life transitions”. You might be wondering the difference between a life transition, and a season of waiting. There are definitely a lot of overlaps, including seeking clarity, peace, and meaning. But to differentiate the two, the simplest way to put it is that a transition includes a clearer end and beginning. You’re leaving one job to start another. You’re graduating college and entering the “real world”. You’re moving out of your hometown to a new state. You’re going from singleness into a serious relationship. There’s excitement, grief, anxiety, but a somewhat clearer timeline. You might have had more say in the transition, but in a season of waiting, it’s so much more open ended than that. You’re hoping and looking for a certain outcome, but in reality you don’t know what’s next, when it’s coming, who will be there, or maybe you don’t even understand why you’re in this place. You might not have had any say in the situation that led to you being in a spot of waiting. There’s confusion, questions, and really no clear end in sight. You might be feeling like you’re “doing the right things”, but you’re not seeing the fruit of your efforts. It can be really life draining and defeating.
If you’re in a spot where the waiting is too challenging and making day to day more difficult than usual, reach out to me today. I’d love to support you, your faith, and/or your mental health during this season of waiting.